Explosive. Impulsive. Reactive. Unpredictable. Unthinking. These are all behaviors a child may have if they lack self control. Which, is developmentally normal for all toddlers and preschoolers and even to a certain degree at times for school age and on as they enter new experiences. The opposite of all of these words are SELF CONTROL. Self control takes years to teach children. We may even see that they begin to show signs of mastering it, and then puberty hits and it can feel like you're back to square one.
Just know that this is a big skill for children to master, so stick with it. Model it. Verbalize for your children when you are practicing self control. Verbalize when you didn't and apologize. Praise them when you see them trying to practice it. State when you see others doing it (an example of this would be in a sporting event, a player is visibly mad at an opponent but walks away) .
From the developer of the evidence based parenting program I teach, ""very young children normally get what they want frequently and immediately because parents respond quickly to fussing and fretting. However, as children get older, it is appropriate that their ability to wait gradually increase. You can help your child learn to wait by not giving in every time he or she wants something. Praising the ability to wait for longer and longer periods of time is also effective. You can teach your child to use self-statements to wait longer, such as "I won't eat all of this now. I'll save some for later," "I'm doing a good job finishing this puzzle," "I can wait my turn," or "I want to finish this so I'll pay attention and play later." " -Dr. Webster-Stratton, PH.D.
In the evidence based parenting program I teach we cover this topic and so much more!!! Enrollment is open now for a limited time, for a small group of parents for the Toddler REMOTE Parenting Class (children ages 8 months-3 years) and Preschool/School Age (children ages 3 years-9 years). This is online, and convenient from your home with unlimited support. Send me an email or text, call, or DM if you want more info. You can register at www.camillemariecoaching.com Classes start in February 2019. This is a great way to start the new year for your family!! It is a gift that will last your family a lifetime.